Howzit

Wow! I am absolutely astounded by the sheer volume of responses to my “gatvol” email two weeks ago. Now I know what they mean when they say “word gets around” I’m blown away boet! Gobsmacked, to say the least!

A big thanks to all of you who took the time to reply. You can view your replies at the end of this article.

Ironically, just after my letter, we are klapped with Xenophobia. Things now appear to be moving from bad to wors. (Personally, I smaak my wors medium rare – how about you?) Anyway back to the punt. One in five citizens now plans to quit SA, according to the Cape Times front page on Thurs 22 May. This is not surprising, considering that the Cape Times front page of 19 May displayed a shockingly disgusting and disturbing full colour picture of a burning man set alight by insane thugs. In my last letter I wrote: “I accept that bad news sells, but soon there will be nobody left here to buy it!” Wake up Mr. Cape Times Editor – I tjooned you my bru!

So what to do? Stay or waai? Eish, this is an agonising question my boet. Are things really better in other “first world” countries? I suppose it depends upon what you mean by better. If you talk safety, security, infrastructure, law, order and good governance, probably. If you talk lifestyle, climate, sense of humour, natural beauty, cultural diversity, depth of character, creativity, zest for life, biltong, braaivleis and boerewors, maybe not?

It would also appear that Xenophobia is on the rise in many other countries around the world. To quote Justine Gerardy, in the Weekend Argus of May 24.  “Xenophobic attacks and immigration challenges are not new. They are not even particularly South African. For example in Russia, since the beginning of 2008, there have been 211 reported victims of hate crimes – with 53 murders. In Italy, just last week, police arrested hundreds of people in a (Xenophobia) crackdown. And even Britain, an island nation with no porous land borders or neighbouring dictatorships, is facing a historical immigration high.”

Even in the good old USA boet, this stuff is happening: I read the following report online at huffingtonpost: “At a fundraiser in Florida last Thursday night, (American Presidential Hopeful) Barack Obama accused anti-immigrant crusaders Lou Dobbs and Rush Limbaugh of “ginning things up” to such an extent that there was a rise in hate crimes against Hispanics last year. Obama said. “A certain segment has basically been feeding a kind of xenophobia. There’s a reason why hate crimes against Hispanic people doubled last year”

So that still leaves us with good old Australia, who themselves have some baggage regarding their Aboriginal population. Aussie does seem like a safe bet though, which is interesting considering that as a country it started off as a sort of floating prison. I was amused by the following anecdote from a South African who moved to Australia, could not adjust and came back home. He said: “Emigrating to Australia is like being invited to the biggest jol of the year, and then spending the whole night dancing with your mother!”

No offence to the Aussies mind you. I am not an Aussie basher. I really think they are an awesome nation with many great qualities and much to be proud of. (Rugby not being one of them!) Good on ya mates!

But getting back to our situation, those of us who do choose to stay here in ZAR have to keep asking ourselves “What can I DO to make things better?” Cause if we are not going to be part of the solution we will remain part of the problem. And please, if any of you feel that some of the ideas I am suggesting below will not work, don’t bother writing to me unless you have another suggestion that will. I’m really tired of people telling me that this and that won’t work and yet are unable to offer any alternative suggestions of their own. Its defeatist thinking and it achieves nothing! Verstaan jy? Kwaai my bru.

So here are some more suggestions to consider:

Join the million man march against crime (in JHB) on 10 June 2008. It should be a huge event.

Read the book “A Country at war with itself” by Antony Altbeker. It really puts our crime wave into perspective and, most importantly, suggests practical steps which can be taken to significantly reduce the crime wave. Three of the many interesting and well researched statistics from the book are:

“Since its peak in the mid 1990’s, the number of murders recorded in SA every year has fallen by 30% from nearly 27 000 to 19 000.”  

“Only a small proportion of murders in SA are committed in the course of a robbery. Most are the result of what analysts have taken to calling “interpersonal violence,” a category of crime that covers everything from domestic violence to road rage, from a barroom brawl to a violent dispute between an employee and his boss.”

And finally: “…the number of cash-in-transit robberies recorded by the SA police in 2006/7, at fewer than 500, is actually quite small…In the United Kingdom, over 700 of raids of this sort are recorded each year. This is in embarrassing contrast with Germany, which had fewer than 20 incidents. In that country though, the largest security company in the field collapsed when its managers were tried for skimming cash off their payloads” Read a book review for this excellent book.

You could take some kind of action to help the victims of Xenophobia. For a list of suggestions on how you could help, visit SARocks.

Write letters to the editors of your local newspapers, whenever you feel that they are over sensationalizing crime and violence or perpetuating negativity. Get your friends to do the same. And don’t hold back – they certainly don’t!

Start a campaign to ban negative newspaper headlines from being displayed on lamp posts. (Thanks for this idea Kareen) We don’t need their version of life shoved down our throats every day.

Visit the blog SARocks and post your comments. Or send your own article to the editor of SARocks, Nic Haramboulis at the following email: editor@sarocks.co.za

Lobby your local MP’s to speak out against crime. This is one of our biggest frustrations in this whole situation. If our president, cabinet ministers and others in positions of power would just take a firm stand, speak up and declare a serious intention to fight crime, violence and lawlessness, things should improve significantly. (That is, if they follow up their words with sustained action)

Also if you have any more practical, positive ideas on what you believe we can do to make things better, please send me your suggestions. I deeply appreciate them.

And don’t forget to keep smiling and of course styling, wherever possible.

Until next time, I remain your passionately pissed off brother from another mother.

Cheers

Mark Berger

email: mark@markberger.co.za

web: www.markberger.co.za

My mum in SA forwarded me something you had written recently. The essence was – sod all the crap news I read, I’m going to create my own happiness! I felt compelled to write and say thank you. Thank you so much for writing that. I’m living in the UK, where the impetus from the press is much the same and I’ve been feeling exactly the same way of late. It’s now time that we all say – get lost Mr. Negative. Bring me smiles, happiness and laughter.

Thanks again.

Hilary

Hi Mark

This piece you wrote was forwarded to me.

Let me just say it is fantastic – FINALLY somebody agrees with me!

This world is a truly awe-inspiring place – if only more people could see it like that! – You are frank, honest and refreshing!

I believe that the more people that share a belief (petrol price hikes, interest rate, Eskom – blah, blah, blah) – the greater the feeling becomes that contributes to that belief. Be it a good or bad belief.

We cannot blame external factors for a “rough patch” in our lives simply because it’s easy. In almost all instances in our lives, work etc, ‘you are the problem, and therefore you are the solution.’

I practice an attitude of gratitude daily! It’s the best way to live man!

Inspired thought, inspired action a general shift in mindset, into a new positive attitude is the only way we will see a genuine change in the world

Anyway – Just a thought.

Thanks for brightening my day!

Have a fantastic week.

Monique

Hi there Mark

I am of the same opinion.

I am reading A Short History of the World and Nearly Everything at the moment.

I do not buy newspapers or watch on TV news negativity – I refuse.

I focus on the positive and enjoy my life.

I was at the Apartheid museum and saw footage that showed me how much of a worse situation we have been in during our history and how much better off we are now.

So thank you for the reminder and a morning ritual I started today was press-ups and weights, I am going to add a short run too.

A Blessing:

May your winter be warm,

May your family be loving

May you appreciate every moment in your life

Please realize that our lives are a miracle and we are lucky to exist

We are the same as everyone and everything at an atomic level

So let us be damn grateful and go out with the intention of adding value

May you be able to look back and say heck I did my best for SA and the world.

And I damn well enjoyed my life!

Regards

Mark

Dear Mark

I read your email about SA which a friend sent me – what a brilliant article, Thank You!  I thought that you might be interested in the following very positive action that my sister-in-law is taking at her school. We would like to start a positivity promise throughout the whole of South Africa, and let it start with you and your children.

Children are amazing – they can lift your spirits when you are feeling down; they can fill a room with sunshine just from their laughter. It’s time for us as South Africans, to channel this beautiful positive energy from our children, and use it to create a new feeling of positivity for our country, and our future.

So, let’s turn parent modeling on its head just for a moment – let’s let the children start teaching us to be positive again. It would be the MOST unbelievable wonderful gift to South Africa, to get a POSITIVITY PROMISE going in all of our schools. All it will take is a few minutes a day from each teacher and his / her class in each and every school in the country. It will start in the classroom, but it needs to be carried over into the home. This is what I have been doing – I hope it will inspire as many caregivers and teachers as possible

The Positivity Promise, which is a promise to yourself to be positive, involves 3 easy steps

Step 1) We start off the day by saying the following mantra; our oath of allegiance – One sentence – that’s all. 3X every morning :

“I am a child of South Africa, and I can make a difference in my country today”.

Step 2) Cultivate “an attitude of gratitude” – A phrase coined by Dr John Demartini.  Start a positivity journal. The children write 1 sentence about something they are grateful for each day.

eg. I am grateful that I have a warm bed to sleep in at night.

Step 3) How can I make a difference today?

Promise to do something nice (or positive) for someone each day, or say something positive to someone each day. Write this down in the Positivity journal, too. eg. Today, I am going to make a difference by including Johnny in our game at break

And do it!

This would start in the home, filter through to the school, and then on to the wider community (senior school and high school). If we can all just perform 1 new positive deed for someone each day, or say 1 positive phrase to someone each day, we can start making a positive difference in our homes, in our schools and in the wider community. It is a well-known fact that “positive attracts positive” – this is what goes out into the Universe. So lets start with our Youth in our schools; each child performs one positive deed and then instead of paying that person back, he / she PAYS IT FORWARD to the next person. Lets start a movement in our schools where one positive deed begets another one.

Imagine the ripple effect this could have if each one of our children in South Africa started making a difference. We CAN make South Africa into the greatest country – we have the potential! Please help us by making a positivity promise TODAY.

Thank you for making a difference in South Africa today.

Karen

Hi Mark

I read your e-mail about being gatvol with all the bad news in South Africa. I can really identify with your sentiments expressed in this e-mail. I do the following every day, and have never been happier in my whole life:

1. I do not watch the news on TV anymore

2. I do not listen to the news on the radio anymore

3. I read the newspapers with circumspection and filter out all the bad news articles and absorb all the good news articles

4. I read the financial press with greater interest and also only absorb the good news articles

5. I have 2 sons aged 15 and 9, when I wake them up in the morning for school, I sing them a song and make it funny with their names in the song

6. I always make sure that I am enjoying whatever I am doing, even if it is brushing my teeth in the morning and at night – I also tell my family to do the same

7. If something does not work during the day, I leave it for later on or the next day and it normally works better the second time around

8. I joke with people and tease them incessantly, both at work and at home, we all laugh and I feel better

9. We have 2 dogs and 1 cat at home, I always play with them and pat and stroke them at least once a day

10. I always laugh at the politicians and their shenanigans

11. I always say that everything in life is negotiable except death

12. I always do unto others as I would like them to do unto me

We have no intentions of leaving South Africa in spite of experiencing an armed robbery at our previous home. We were attacked in broad day light, at 06:45 approximately, by 4 armed robbers. They beat myself and my wife up badly, nearly raped my wife and generally terrorised us all, including our sons. This was all done for a wallet, purse and 2 cell phones.

I reckon that at least 90% of all South Africans want the same things ie:

a. A decent home and transport

b. A job or business of their own

c. Good schooling for their children

d. Good health care

e. To worship freely in their own House of G-d.

Please feel free to e-mail me if you wish

Regards

Stan

Dear Mark

Received an email in the “mail” – a funny down to earth honest and true email. Loved it and passing on. Thank you for taking the bull by the horns and sharing it with us.

Love & Light and all the other good things thrown in.

Robyn

Hi Mark

I am just as GATVOL as you are. People complain almost every where you turn. I want to ask if any of them are doing anything to change what is going on. I know most are going to say, “well, what can I  do, why aren’t the cops doing it or the government…..why must I do anything, I pay tax, I deserve …….and so on and so on”

Well there are many things we can all do.

Every year more then 20 000 people are killed on our roads. At robots, freeways, intersections, by reckless inconsiderate drivers, drunk drivers or unlicensed drivers.

Obeying simple laws such as the traffic laws is a start. Don’t be the person who races to get through the orange that is red, actually stop at a stop street…..don’t drink and drive no matter what. You not only put your life at risk, you risk that of countless people, young children, bread winners.

So don’t let anyone complain about crime if they cant obey the rules of the road.

Instead of sitting back and saying I cant, call the number of the truck company, or transport company to complain about the driver, demand action. You have the right to open a reckless and negligent driving case…as the witness to the incident.

Don’t just ignore something that is tearing the fabric of our society.

“Be the change you want to see in the world, don’t demand it”

As for the press, I don’t bother anymore, the newspaper, tv, radio….its all the same. I don’t think I could in any way add to what you have said… but you are dead on the money.

We are all aware of the problems, and that is what we as a nation are good at, identifying problems, but we are KAK at finding solutions. It is the responsibility of every South African to stand up and do something for his country, be it a act of kindness, charity or helping someone in need. Community service takes many forms. But we think cos we pay tax we are owed. Well we ARE OWED NOTHING BY NO ONE. If we want change we need to be part of the solution. Leaving to another country does not change anything, they are only going to other sets of problems. There are many examples, France- student riots, Australia- Race riots, South America – poverty and kidnappings. Iraq- war and so the list goes on.

We need to find solutions, put people in power who will make the difference.

I don’t have all the answers but together we can make change happen.

Leigh

Well said Mark!!

You’ve got guts!! I love it

Happy day

Careema

Dear Mark

Loved it and well done. Helped me a lot as I often do get this heavy ball of anxious dread KAK feeling, when more bad news comes my way

Anne-Lise

Thanx Mark – that was awesome !!!
I hope you don’t mind, but I forwarded this to a few people, including John Maytham on Cape Talk
PS:Thanx to you – I am sitting naked in my front garden, drinking herbal tea and listing to Radio Lotus

Dion

Well done Mark – pleased you got that off your chest,  and not via your poephol either!

Kind Regards

John

Hey Mark

Sounds like you are doing fine by getting that off your chest bru, but every word is true my bru!!! You have made my Monday already……and I haven’t even got around to the tea and joint bit yet!

Go well.

Regards,

Michael

Good Morning Mark,

Reading your letter is like having you on the phone, or chatting with you… I could even hear the tone of your voice as I read it!

As always, you bring positive energy and rays of hope.

I have been often chastised by some of our common friends for not reading the daily newspapers, but like you, over the last few years I felt that they only dragged me down.

Watching international news on TV while I do my morning gym, and listening to talk shows on SAFM while driving to work, keep me generally informed, but they are already pushing the limits of what I want to know… as you wrote, the more you hear and see, the more depressed you get!!!

However, to be fair to our reporters, without them bringing to the fore issues of abuse, misconduct, genocide, rigged elections, oil wars, corruption, global warming, etc… it would be difficult for ordinary people to take a stance and try and redress the wrongs committed daily, worldwide.

I agree that a news paper, or news bulletin, should try and even out the negative news with positive ones, and encourage people to look for beauty, joy and reason as much as making us aware of all our problems.

Maybe you should start a “positive news radio and publications”? I cannot think of a better person to do so…

Filon

Hi Mark

Great to hear from you and “good on you”…..

We have so much to be grateful for….maybe a “holiday” in Serbia, Iraq or Zimbabwe will put things in perspective !!

Regards

Conway

Thanks Mark.

Jislaaik bru….. but your words are somma powerful!! On a serious note, I could not agree more with your sentiments. I am also gatvol of reading and hearing about all the kak innie land. Enough! It is all about behavioural change. And we have the power to change the awesome future we are on the brink of……

Best Regards

Justin

Howzit

I don’t know about you but jislaaik I’m now getting really gatvol of all the bad news. South Africa once again seems to be falling through its own poephol. I think I’m going to puke if I hear any more s#*t about Jacob Zuma, Zimbabwe, Crime, Eskom, the Oil Price, Inflation, Soaring Food Costs, Bafana Bafana or even friggin Paris Hilton. I’ve absolutely had it with all this negativity, doom and gloom! I’m really SAT of it ALL ek se!!! How about you?

I mean it’s not like I want to gooi the ostrich vibe and bury my head in the sand. This shit is real and it’s serious and it’s happening all over…but not to me….YET!!! Nevertheless I can’t help but read it, hear about it it, see the headlines, hear the rumours…EVERYWHERE. It’s like they are brainwashing me boet. And the worst part of it is that I feel totally and completely HELPLESS. Useless. Disempowered. Castrated (almost.) Frustrated (completely.) I keep getting this heavy ball of anxious dread filling my guts and it feels really KAK! And the worst part of it all is that I am a motivational speaker who needs to stay positive and optimistic.

To top it all off, winter is coming so I can’t even feel good about the lekker weather any more!

Peter de Villiers, our new Springbok Rugby Coach, was quoted in a Sunday Times interview published on 4^th May as saying: “The local media thrive on negativity. They have nothing good to say about their country. If there is something bad about this country the local media will break a leg to be the first to write about it. They’re a bunch of negative people who live in a world of their own, and are merely there to earn a living and not make SA a better place.”

I agree completely with the ou. I’m think that most of our journalists, reporters and editors are uninspired, negative, disaster focused, sensation seeking, sad sorry scumbags. They find fault in everything and never propose any workable solutions. Many of the ordinary people of South Africa are busy doing wonderful little things every day, but none of it is newsworthy. Here’s the truth: There are roughly 6.6 billion people on planet earth. And according to the World Health Organization, some 56 million deaths occur per year, at the current global average. That works out to about 153 400 per day. That’s right – 153 400 deaths every 24 hours! So it’s not really hard work to find disasters, accidents, catastrophes, murders, muggings and general mayhem to fill the headlines. It’s actually pretty easy.

But during that same 24 hours, about 350 000 babies are born. That’s right, every 24 hours, around 350 000 beautiful, miraculous, perfect, pure, happy, untainted, precious little beings begin their journey on this planet. And what do journalists write about this? F%*k all that’s what! Unless of course a six month old baby is stabbed to death – then we never stop hearing about it!

Every day about 48 million of us get up, take a s*#t, clean our teeth (hopefully) and get on with our life. And many of us perform little acts of respect, compassion, kindness, service, giving, helping and creating. As Cath Jenkin wrote recently in her blog: “There is noise and joy and emotional honesty in the way we live. When we as a nation are happy, we celebrate. When we are sad, we are sad together. Does anything else really matter? At least we are together in the queue for petrol and/or torches.”

But for our media this is not newsworthy. It’s just life.

So I gave it all a lot of thought. Then I did some more real deep thinking. And guess what – buggerall happened! So I stopped thinking for a while, by learning to meditate. Then I stopped reading most of the newspapers. Then I stopped watching the news on TV and listening to the news in my car. And I stopped listening to people with negative chirps and bad energy. And I stopped focusing on what was going wrong in my life.

Then I started to meditate every morning, after doing some simple yoga stretches and synchronized breathing exercises. And I replaced my morning cup of coffee and cigarette with some herbal tea and a dagga joint. (OK – joking about the joint!) And I re- read the Power of Now and Conversations with God and a Short History of Nearly Everything. And I began to visit an awesome positive website called sagoodnews.co.za.  And MAN did I start to feel better. MUCH BETTER. Then I started to watch every sunset possible, ride my bicycle, watch funny video’s on Youtube, work in my garden, walk on the beach – I fu&%#ng started living again BRU! From the inside out! And it finally hit me between the eyes, an epiphany:

You can’t change your thinking in order to improve your behaviour. You need to change your behaviour in order to improve your thinking. It’s taken me many years of searching and many many books, self development courses and personal growth experiences to come to this simple truth.

So if you, like me, are feeling anxious, concerned, depressed or gatvol, why not try changing your behaviour and DOING something differently, from today.

For example:

Greet every SAP policeman you meet with a friendly smile or handshake and thank them for protecting you and your loved ones. Boy do they need some motivation!

Visit www.sagoodnews.co.za. Often.

Read an inspiring book.

Write a poem.

Get into nature (or walk barefoot on your lawn!)

Write down everything you have to be grateful for. Every morning.

Play inspirational music, especially when the news comes on your radio.

Find some way to exercise your body a little more. (Endorphins are lekker!)

Try out one of the 100 available techniques of mediation or relaxation.

Watch the sunrise and/or sunset.

Create a morning ritual to make your day beautiful.

Find out and speak about the good news.

Choose to be happy.

And don’t allow the media to f%&k with your mind.

Most importantly, seek out and speak your own truth and live a whole life.

You deserve it.

And in doing so, you will change your life and make a massive difference to this special place we call home.

PS: To all the media people out there – I’m all for a free press. Really. I’m just sick and tired of your continued obsessive focus with everything negative. When are you going to realize that you are not merely reporting on what is happening – you are CAUSING some of it by your actions. Yes – YOU! You are helping to perpetuate a dangerous cycle of violence and destruction. I accept that bad news sells, but soon there will be nobody left here to buy it! Please cheer up and get a life or piss off and go find another job. Serious. I’ve had it with your sensationalism and scandal. Enough already. Start doing your job and working a little bit harder to creatively seek out and give some headline space to the good stuff going down in SA. Trust me, it’s there!

(Pheeew it feels good to have got that off my chest!!!)

I wish you an awesome day. Choose to make it that way!

Mark Berger.